Saturday, December 22, 2012


2012 has been an intense year. A year I haven't really kept much, if any, written log of.

I wanted to. I knew I should... but I held back everytime I thought about it. I came up with a thousand different reasons why I shouldn't share our story. I still have some of those concerns but mostly I think I was just afraid of opening up. Going forward I want to combat that fear. I want to be open and keep a journal of our experiences.

I follow some blogs with some regularity. Some of people I communicate with, others because their story touches me. Some of them are careful to hide their children's names, or their locations... others share their locations and names with no issues. I probably should take more care to mask my children's identities but the truth is that this is the internet. Anyone who really wants to find out who they are is going to. And why someone would want to go through all that work really baffles me. Most of my readers already know that anyways... ya know, all 10 of

So 2012....

We danced with child onset schizophrenia, anxiety, emerging personality disorders, autism, and ADHD. We struggled through speech delays, sensory issues, cognitive delays, and ongoing destructive behaviors. We struggled with self harm, aggression, and pathological lies.

But.... that didn't define us. That was not all we did.

We crochet owl hats, other hats, scarves, santa hats, and many failed projects...

We went to the beach.

We had play dates and formed bonds with friends who understood that we weren't going to be "typical".

We started to form bonds with each other in meaningful ways (we still have our moments, but I'll take the good when I can get it.)

We learned to ride bikes.

We got kittens!!

We sang with the school chorus.

We did so much more, as a family and separately. I went back to school, took an advocacy class, learned a lot from a few of the best friends a girl could possibly ask for, and learned not to expect anything more from someone than they are capable of giving. I know who will be there for me no matter what time, day or night, that I need them. Now I just need to learn how to ask for that help when I need it.

So wrapping up 2012 I find myself encouraged. The road will be rocky and hard but there is so much left to learn and that is really exciting!


  1. I'm glad you posted. Your kidlets have grown and they are learning more :)
    They are your children and whatever life throws at you, I'm sure you'll handle it.
    Merry Christmas! :)

  2. I hope you'll find a second to look at my blog... not for any shameless plug but so you can see that no harm comes when you are honest about your emotions. I write about my fears, anger, sadness, grief as well as happy times, love and inspiration. No one critiques I only ever get people grateful that I've expressed how they feel too. I hope you do blog with honesty as I found it very therapeutic and I look forward to following xxx

  3. I'll definitely check it out, mama. I'm not worried about critiques, honestly, I'm worried about losing myself in negativity. I feel better when I feel positive. Hmmm... maybe thats my next blog post. =) Thank you for following! I look forward to more comments from you!