Saturday, January 7, 2012

Ever changing life....

I've decided to break my silence. It's important to document and more important to share.

Life is a battle. Not just for me, but for my beautiful girl. She's struggling every day to make sense of her world. She hears voices, she sees things, she thinks things... and she can't tell the difference between what's happening in her head and what's happening in the world around her.

In a few weeks we see the neurologist. Her therapist, Y, who is on call constantly, is convinced autism is ruled out now. At the very least its co-existing with another larger condition. We aren't calling it anything yet because we really aren't interested in labeling before we're really sure.

This morning she became frustrated with her sister. This frustration led to her growling and hissing in her sister's face. This exact thing happened last night with her brother. She almost becomes animal like. It's hard to explain. I just know that I've entered a world I never thought I'd be apart of. I've read about it. I've researched it. I just never thought I'd live it.

All that matters right now is keeping all 4 of the kids happy and safe. All the kids are going to struggle with this, right along with Pookie. And I will be there every step of the way to guide them and help them.

Up until this week the school system was absolutely against us. They couldn't see and didn't want to hear it. Getting phone calls returned took weeks, IEP compliance was questionable at best, and getting a meeting scheduled took over a month. I kept on and I succeeded. Her therapist and I went in there and we really made ourselves heard. I feel like we made amazing headway and are on a path to success for her. All that matters is success. I've been reading books, reading online, talking to families, and learning everything I can about advocating for my child. I'm learning special education laws and how to prepare myself for the battles yet to come.

Through all of this I feel like I'm becoming stronger. I'm confident in what I'm learning. I'm confident as a parent, and I'm trusting myself to make the right choices for my girl. I know where to find those valuable resources and I'm learning how to use them. The most important thing I've learned so far is that a college degree is a piece of paper and doesn't mean anything if the person truly has little to no experience in the field. Never again will I be the one who defers to someone because they have a degree.


  1. Sarah,
    I'm sorry you and your family have to go through this. Your poor girl. I work with kids at risk and in the ten years I'be been there I have met many children with a myriad of troubles. You seem to have your wits about you and are doing what is right for her. If you ever need any support or a shoulder feel free to fb message me.
    Katrina Hall