Thinking Out Loud (Sort of)...

     So the school thing.... temporarily (or maybe permenantly?) on hold. I've been thinking a lot about that today. I don't like how it feels to not keep going but I know right now it is the best decision.... especially that specific degree. I'm logical enough (most days) to know that the career path wouldn't work with my chaotic children. The thing is... I hate change. Even change that is for the best. I hate starting new things, ending things, new places, new routines... all change really. I don't know for sure whether this stems from my rather severe anxiety issues, or whether this is something entirely independant. Something to think about....

     Back to the school thing. That career path just wouldn't work. I knew that. I knew that long before it was pointed out to me several times. Right now I can't see a career path that would work. I have two kids on the autism spectrum, one with emotional/behavioral issues, and a baby. I can't afford daycare (and would never launch my crew at a poor unsuspecting daycare provider). I was thinking today that maybe I could work on a degree in child psychology. Even if I never use it for a career path it will help me understand my children and help me make better decisions for them (and with them). Once they are all in school maybe I could work for Early Intervention or something like that.

     On a completely different note, today with Joelene was a complete nightmare. Jolie has been spending a lot of time alone everyday in her room. Normally I don't mind this but its starting to get excessive. The weather today is amazing so I told her to go outside... and that's when the nightmare began. Peter was out playing on the (newly) enclosed swingset/sandbox and I told Jolie to go play with him. My mother and I were right on the deck so it wasn't like she was alone... but she lost it. She screamed and cried for over 4 hours. She hit, pushed, screamed, sobbed, was unbelievably hysterical over a fear of bees. I think we saw 2 bees the entire time. When logic prevailed she began her screaming again about she didn't want to be here and just wants to watch TV... which was the actual problem to start with. We made it through the tantrum... and I am happy to report that she is playing outside happily by her own choice right now. I guess it seemed like a good choice seeing as how I flat out refused to turn the TV back on today...lol.

     Right now Monkey is napping and the other three are outside playing. I am absolutely loving it!

Oh! Peter rode a tricycle today... I didn't get any pictures but I will soon!